BROOKLYN WILL BE MINE!

That’s right, the NBA in Brooklyn, USA. Can you think of a more perfect fit or a greater Boondoggle? Actually, it doesn't fit. The arena I want to build can only be built by taking private property by abusing eminent domain laws. Therefore, it LITERALLY doesn't fit. But what the hell do I care?

In the history of hoops scams, no developer has influenced the style of deceit and rhythm of corruption more than Bruce, me, Caring Bruce Ratner. The fast paced, “in your face” corruption of today’s New York was born right here on the asphalt of my playgrounds and now we can exploit Brooklyn to bring our fine boondoggle back to the hard wood of a soulless new eyesore located in ON TOP OF Prospect Heights Downtown Brooklyn.

My influence on Albany, The Governor's House, and Marty "Figurehead" Markowitz goes way beyond the heart pounding style we have come to expect from NBA games. Brooklyn was, at one point or another, a liveable community for basketball greats like Michael Jordan, Red Auerbach, Red Holzman, Connie Hawkins, Lenny Wilkens, Bernard King, Billy Cunningham, Ro Blackman, World B. Free and Stephon Marbury.

For those of you who don’t think Brooklyn is major league, shutup and get out of my way! Not that this has anything to do with my Trojan Arena and secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart back room deal, but no city on earth has a history in sports as rich and storied as Brooklyn’s. As home to the legendary Brooklyn Dodgers from 1890-1957, Brooklyn acquired a reputation as a passionate sports city. And with this project I plan to exploit that history for my gain. Wildly enthusiastic crowds came out to see the lovable Dodgers play at old Ebbets Field and in 2001, when baseball returned to the Borough in the form of the Single-A Brooklyn Cyclones, Brooklyn’s dedicated fan base picked up right where they had left off. Of course I know that the NBA and pro sports of 2005 has nothing to do with any of this, but I think Brooklyn will be fooled!

I don't know what this has to do with my secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart back room deal, but The Cyclones have led their league in attendance every season since their inaugural game, playing in front of a full house nearly every night in the intimate Keyspan Park on Coney Island. In 2003 alone, 317,124 fans pushed through the turnstiles for the Cyclones 38 home games, making the Cyclones the best draw in their New York-Penn League and proportionally, one of the most well attended teams in all of baseball. Once again, this has nothing to do with my land grab or my secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart back room deal.

Quick Facts about Brooklyn and the Nets:

If removed from greater New York City, Brooklyn’s population of 2.5 million would make up America's fourth largest city. And soon I will be the King of that fourth largest city.

The Brooklyn Nets would play in a 20,000 seat, downtown arena designed by an icon of modern neighborhood destruction, Frank Gehry, who creates sculptures that don't have anything to do with the neighborhood they are built in; also he designs dead spaces, wholly unwelcoming to the public.

A move to Brooklyn would be a homecoming of sorts for the Nets who came into existence in the old American Basketball Association as the New York Nets. I just learned that. This basketball stuff is really neat-o.

Frank Gehry, internationally acclaimed destroyer of neighborhoods and communities, unveils his dastardly vision for a world-class debacle and gated fortress community for Prospect Heights Downtown Brooklyn, by way of Bruce Ratner's secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart backroom deal.

Development spearheaded by Forest City Ratner Companies
will bring destruction to Brooklyn's residential communities, along with new luxury residential units in a gated fortress community, too much commercial space which our political buddies will subsidize with government agency tenants, and retail space for big box national chain stores that will be subsidized and will out-compete the small businesses that make Brooklyn what it is and six acres of private well-guarded space including an open-air, rooftop terrorist target.

Brooklyn, NY, December 10, 2003

Internationally acclaimed destroyer of neighborhoods, Frank Gehry and Bruce C. Ratner, Liar, Basketball Dilettante and CEO of Forest City Ratner Companies, today unveiled a masterbatory plan for the eyesore that will (if it were built, but it never will be) house the depleted Nets basketball team that Mr. Ratner is seeking to bring Prospect Heights Downtown Brooklyn. The Brooklyn Arena will be the centerpiece of an overdeveloped, dumbly developed, gated-fortress-luxury-terrorist target, called Bruce Ratner's Pipe Dream or Ratner's Folly. So-called Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Brooklyn Borough Buffoon Marty Markowitz and Brooklyn-born All-Star Front Man Bernard King (who lives in Atlanta, Georgia) hailed the secrect taxpayer subisidized sweetheart backroom deal at a news conference in the Opaque BackRoom of Brooklyn’s Borough Hall.

The 800,000 square-foot Brooklyn BOONDOGGLE will be the TROJAN HORSE or FRONT for the biggest land grab scam in history. Ratner's Folly, an urban complex of luxury housing, un-needed commercial and big box retail space, as well as six acres of ugly private guarded space – including a terrorist target on the Arena’s roof, ringed by an open-air running track that doubles as a eyesore in winter with panoramic vistas facing the 40th story of an unwanted high rise, year-round.

“Great urban planning incorporates many different uses into a cohesive neighborhood – and truly great urban planning invites the public to participate in the space, whether they work there or live
there or they’re drawn there to visit,” said Bruce Ratner, who is a 10-15% owner with a group of 50 shadow investors bidding to overpay for the Nets. “We will not be doing that.”

“This is an important boondoggle for everyone,” added Frank Gehry. “Our goals are to take the public for a ride, and to create something really special for Bruce and me, and Bloomey, and that fool Marty, and Chucky, and Georgey.”

Prospect Heights Downtown Brooklyn has experienced a remarkable revival over the last twenty years, and with one of the world’s greatest destroyer of neighborhoods– Frank Gehry – working with Forest City Ratner Companies to develop this proposed masterbatory plan, the Brooklyn Arena and the Brooklyn Atlantic Yards boondoggle will be a truly monumental tragic boondoggle land grab secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart backroom deal,” said so-called Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. “Gehry’s unique urban overdevelopment fits neatly on top of the streetscape and provides new eyesores and gated and guarded private spaces to make this borough, which I've never been to, and our entire City vomit. This project complements our Administration's vision for turning New York City into a Billionaire's wet dream, dramatically destroying Downtown Brooklyn as we announced earlier this year and has now been put through the City's public land use review process, which we do not plan to do for Bruce's wonderful boondoggle. Our so-called Administration is ready to put on a full court press for its approval by bypassing every democratic procedure we can think of- just as we're prepared to team up with Forest City Ratner Companies and with others elected officials to pay graft to each other. We're rooting hard to screw the public.”

Download Complete Press Release Propaganda Bullshit  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download   Microsoft Word Download

Professional Basketball BoondoggleComing to Brooklyn Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
Forest City Ratner Companies Police Record Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
Frank Gehry, World Renowned Destroyer of Neighborhoods Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
Gehry Partners, LLP, World Renowned Destroyer of Neighborhoods Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
Laurie Olin and the Olin Partnership, Designers of Private Gated Landscapes Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
The Nets Basketball Team, Before Bruce Ratner Got a Hold of It Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
Bernard King, Front Man Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
The Brooklyn Arena Boondoogle and Brooklyn Atlantic Yard secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart back room deal Microsoft Word Download  Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download
   
Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download Download all Word Press Releases
Adobe Acrobat® PDF Download Download all PDF Press Releases
 
 

Link to PDF Version
Hey, the New York Press
called me a bigger co**sucker than Robert Moses.
I must be doin' something right! And there is a new undercover report about me and my friends.


Link to PDF Version Urban Room Where the Displaced Will Stay
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Arena Roof Garden Terrorist Target
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Billionaire's View from Luxury Suite
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Secret taxpayer subsidized sweetheart backroom deal Plan
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version eyesore Level Plan
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Site Non-Plan
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Transportation/
Traffic Nightmare Maps (1)

PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Transportation Nightmare Maps (2)
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Existing Site Looking South at a brick wall.
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Out of Context Map
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Parking and Rail Track Plans
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Ground Level Skyless Plan Blocks
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Private Promenade Block
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version $1.02Billion Taxpayer Subsidy View
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Southern View on Flatbush, Wherever That Is
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Ugly Overdeveloped Northern Skyline View
PDF | JPG
Link to PDF Version Ugly Overdeveloped Southern Skyline
PDF | JPG

Download all PDF images
WinZip Download Download all JPG images


For Further Information:

Media Relations

Mike Bloomberg,
212.981.5263


Dan Doctoroff,
212.981.5241


Community Affairs

Marty Markowitz, 718.923.8442

Chuck Schumer,
212.686.4551


Roger Green,
718.923.8442


This site is political satire, for the original Bruce Ratner proposal (and thats all it is a proposal, one which has many obstacles and we don't believe it has a chance of coming to fruition) go to bball.net